The Karp Report

By Franklin Karp
Published on: July 20, 2018

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The Magical Fairy

I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish.

“I wish to live forever,” I said.

“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant that particular wish.”

“Fine,” I said, “then I want to die the day after Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people’s best interests.”

“You crafty bastard,” replied the fairy.



When Insults Had Class

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”

-Charles, Count Talleyrand


“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”

-Forrest Tucker


“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

-Mark Twain


“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

-Mae West


“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

-Oscar Wilde


“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts … for support rather than illumination.”

-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”

-Billy Wilder


“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.”

-Groucho Marx

Franklin Karp

Franklin Karp

Franklin is the COO for Audio Video Systems in Plainview, NY - one of the premier custom integration technology firms in the country. He was previously the CEO for Harvey Electronics, a leading hi-end consumer technology retail chain in the NYC area.

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