The Karp Report

By Franklin Karp
Published on: March 24, 2021

My Wife

My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.



She is Gone!!!

Husband: Officer, my wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and hasn’t come home!

Officer:  Age?

Husband:  I’m not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don’t do birthdays.

Officer:  Height?

Husband:  I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Officer:   Weight?

Husband:  Don’t know. Not slim, not too fat.

Officer:   Color of eyes

Husband:   Sort of brown I think Never really noticed.

Officer:  Color of hair?

Husband:  Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Officer:  What was she wearing?

Husband:  Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don’t know exactly.

Officer:  What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:  She went in my truck.

Officer:  What kind of truck was it?

Husband:  A 2017, manufactured September 16th, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4 liter Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, LED lighting, back up and front cameras, moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.

At this point the husband started choking up.

Officer: Take it easy sir, we’ll find your truck.

Franklin Karp

Franklin Karp

Franklin is the COO for Audio Video Systems in Plainview, NY - one of the premier custom integration technology firms in the country. He was previously the CEO for Harvey Electronics, a leading hi-end consumer technology retail chain in the NYC area.

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